A Devotion for the Long Defeat

Earlier this week, Pam Garrison shared with our conference staff a report from one of our ERTs (Emergency Response Team) from Sun City Center. The team traveled to Apalachicola to survey the damage from Hurricane Michael and to begin initial work. On their trip, the team encountered severe damage and devastation. The group leader, Earl recounts their experience of having to traverse many roads and detours just to get supplies to those in need. They eventually were able to set up distribution centers for supplies and had several deeply meaningful encounters with residents who were affected by the storm. The ERT was able to provide not just supplies and debris clearing work, but also tangible love in their presence; a sign to people that God was indeed on the move and there was hope after the storm.

Earl reflects: “My take from this whole experience was this. The old saying "I cried because I had no shoes until I saw a man that had no feet" came immediately clear to my mind when I witnessed the devastation of Mexico Beach. As a result of Hurricane Michael, thousands of our fellow Americans lost their homes, their livelihood, their loved ones and for some ... their life. Every day we have is a blessing, live it to the fullest because tomorrow is promised to no one. The gifts and support from the Sun City Center United Methodist Church and the work of the Florida Disaster Response Team were lifesaving to some and so very much appreciated by everyone we helped.”

As I read the accounts of the ERT team, my heart was filled with gratitude. Gratitude for the ERTs, for the first responders, for the churches and schools and volunteers who are sorting through the muck and devastation even as I write these words; gratitude also for our team, for all of you who wake each morning and return to the work before you, the work of recovery for the long-haul.

Sometimes we don’t see the immediate response to our daily work; sometimes it can feel like we’re going through the motions, hoping this form will be the right one, or this phone call will make the difference. We know the work we are doing is holy. But still we grow weary. We ache for a break in the darkness, a sliver of light to guide us, to strengthen us and comfort us.

When I am feeling this way, and when the emails like Earl’s seem too few and far between, I listen to this song by Sara Groves entitled “The Long Defeat.”

Sara says that the lyrics to this song are inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien in “The Lord of the Rings.” The particular passage involves Lady Galadriel, speaking to Frodo about the long struggle of her people against the evil forces. She describes the Lord of the Elves, who in this highly symbolic novel represents Christ: 

"He has dwelt in the West since the days of dawn, and I have dwelt with him years uncounted; for ere the fall of Nargothrond or Gondolin I passed over the mountains, and together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat."

Tolkien held this view of all of human history as a “long defeat.” While he believed we can experience momentary triumphs, real victory will not be known in this world until Christ returns.

The thought has resonated with me throughout my Christian journey, but particularly in the times when I’ve encountered deep pain, tragedy and suffering.

So often in the Christian community, we are ready to talk about living in victory and celebrating good triumphing over evil - certainly all of us want to be there. But the mystery is that we remain within a long defeat, within a world that is heartbroken and weary. In spite of impossible odds, in spite of the fact that the burdens we carry, we continue to fight, continue to work, knowing that we do not fight alone.

Andrew Barber, an English professor at The Stony Brook School, articulates it:

"We fight the long defeat because we are not the authorities over “success.” We fight the long defeat because the final victory is coming."

Sara’s lyrics remind me that, though the work is tiring, and “victory” seems elusive, the call to work for God’s Kingdom is something I can never leave. It is work that I will never be able to carry myself, and it is a vision that I can often lose sight of.

So we pray. We pray for the strength and energy to continue the work, for traveling companions on the journey, and for stories like Earl’s and his team to light our next step and rekindle the hope within us and before us.

Below are the lyrics to the song. I hope that they provide a place of reflection and inspiration:

The Long Defeat

 by Sara Groves

I have joined the long defeat
That falling set in motion
And all my strength and energy
Are raindrops in the ocean

So conditioned for the win
To share in victor’s stories
But in the place of ambition’s din
I have heard of other glories

And I pray for an idea
And a way I cannot see
It’s too heavy to carry
And impossible to leave

I can’t just fight when I think I’ll win
That’s the end of all belief
And nothing has provoked it more
Than a possible defeat

And I pray for an idea
And a way I cannot see
It’s too heavy to carry
And impossible to leave

We walk a while we sit and rest
We lay it on the altar
I won’t pretend to know what’s next
But what I have I’ve offered

And I pray for a vision
And a way I cannot see
It’s too heavy to carry
And impossible to leave

And I pray for inspiration
And a way I cannot see
It’s too heavy to carry
And impossible to leave

It’s too heavy to carry
And I will never leave


With you in the wandering,

Chaplain Amy