A Devotion for Wrestling with God
The same night he got up and took his two wives, his two maids, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and likewise everything that he had.Jacob was left alone; and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he struck him on the hip socket; and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. Then he said, “Let me go, for the day is breaking.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go, unless you bless me.” So he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” Then the man said, “You shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with humans, and have prevailed.” Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life is preserved.” The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel, limping because of his hip.
-Genesis 32: 22-31 NRSV
Can you imagine wrestling with someone and not knowing it was God?
I couldn’t.
That is, until I thought about the things I struggle with and fight against:
Money
Anxiety about the future
Concerns for friends and family
Safety, health, security
The more I’ve thought about it, I’ve discovered that these are places where I have wrestled with God, without even knowing it.
Sometimes we can trick ourselves into thinking that wrestling with God is associated with a prideful spirit, that somehow the God of the Universe can’t handle our questions and challenges.
I’d argue that we could become prideful thinking that we don’t need to wrestle with God.
When Jacob emerges from his wrestling match, he is changed. His body aches and his limbs tremble and even his name is new.
He is a changed man because he has come face to face with God.
Does that ring true for you? Have you struggled and fought and wept and screamed at God? Were you the same afterward?
The name Peniel, the place where Jacob and God meet, translates to “I have seen God and lived.”
I think about our survivors, their pain and trauma, their joys and laughter - they have seen God and lived.
I think about our churches, the struggle to pay bills, their commitment to making disciples for Jesus s they worship and feed the poor, and serve their communities - they have seen God and lived.
I think about each of us in recovery work, the lives we bring to our daily work, our frustrations, our successes and failures - we have seen God and lived.
To this day, it is thought that the priests at Peniel limp. They limp as a part of their worship, as an acknowledgement of Gods strength, power, and sovereignty.
By their limping they proclaim that God is indeed in the muck and mire of life with us. Not above or outside, but with.
Their limps also declare that in brokenness and woundedness, new life can be found.
Friends, do you limp? Have you come close to the face of God and lived??
May we be people not afraid of wrestling with God, of seeing God's glory face to face, and living as those changed, redeemed, and restored.
With you on the journey,
Amy
Anxiety about the future
Concerns for friends and family
Safety, health, security
The more I’ve thought about it, I’ve discovered that these are places where I have wrestled with God, without even knowing it.
Sometimes we can trick ourselves into thinking that wrestling with God is associated with a prideful spirit, that somehow the God of the Universe can’t handle our questions and challenges.
I’d argue that we could become prideful thinking that we don’t need to wrestle with God.
When Jacob emerges from his wrestling match, he is changed. His body aches and his limbs tremble and even his name is new.
He is a changed man because he has come face to face with God.
Does that ring true for you? Have you struggled and fought and wept and screamed at God? Were you the same afterward?
The name Peniel, the place where Jacob and God meet, translates to “I have seen God and lived.”
I think about our survivors, their pain and trauma, their joys and laughter - they have seen God and lived.
I think about our churches, the struggle to pay bills, their commitment to making disciples for Jesus s they worship and feed the poor, and serve their communities - they have seen God and lived.
I think about each of us in recovery work, the lives we bring to our daily work, our frustrations, our successes and failures - we have seen God and lived.
To this day, it is thought that the priests at Peniel limp. They limp as a part of their worship, as an acknowledgement of Gods strength, power, and sovereignty.
By their limping they proclaim that God is indeed in the muck and mire of life with us. Not above or outside, but with.
Their limps also declare that in brokenness and woundedness, new life can be found.
Friends, do you limp? Have you come close to the face of God and lived??
May we be people not afraid of wrestling with God, of seeing God's glory face to face, and living as those changed, redeemed, and restored.
With you on the journey,
Amy
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